Life Like Boyfriend Hands

by Amar Ahmad

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Hey Sam, here it is, after a move, a broken computer, getting sick, getting lazy, another mic and homework, I finally finished it. Sam's a really cool friend an musician and this is our second split. I'm glad I got to know him and that I'm able to put this out with him. My side sounds like demos and took way longer than it should've. His side's tight:

*P E R S E V E R E N C E*


released December 13, 2015

These songs could not have been without the support of my friends, Joe for talking about jamz even though I talk about them wayy too much, Dante for always makin' songs with me, Sam for putting up with my lateness, Zelda for listening to my demos and coming up with helpful feedback, Knell for always listening to my songs even the awful early stuff, and to my mom for not asking why I was screaming so much in my bedroom.

I made the album cover, joe came up with the title




Amar Ahmad Boston, Massachusetts

16/ I do this to keep busy

Send me an email!
amar.ahmad91920@gmail dot com

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Track Name: On and Off the Grid Part I & II
On an off the grid:

Can my high school Spanish class, teach me how to by cigarettes from my local CVS? Can the kids who stare at me say a word or two to please can I get any rest? All my skin still filled with blue, how i feel an felt bout you. Was that past what we need?(to grow grow grow) can I feel the bruises still? Yes but I don't really think it will. change the things that make me bleed. An i hope it's better where you are. I hope it's better where you've been i hope you found your lucky stars an i hope to God that your counting them.

A change that's not so very good. I start to move real fast backwards. Now please please drive me to the mall now I'm a dick from the suburbs
The month feels slower the it was, because it's closer to the end. The syllables of the days oh they stretch out, twenty five twenty six twenty seven.

When you see me, do you see? A place you can't call home, all curled up to feel alone. still fall still cold.. Take you back on a trip. You are not escaping this

Bloodshot eyes red, all over the place I can't talk can't sleep. An i know that I I know that I'm gonna be alone for the road.

And I was alone there I'm still alone now just in a different place. (My angstyness is gone I'm too sad to write songs I've been here way too fall in love is all I want) Just in a different place
Track Name: Paper Planes
Paper planes- All the paper planes are the only remains of the fact i wanted you to stay. All the inside jokes in the letters I wrote are the facts I wanted to feel too. An all the paper planes are the only the only remains of the past I never had with you.

An all these memories will turn to movie screens, when the credits roll back black to grey. And I don't have the remote or some magic word to reel back the past an rewind the tapppe.

An we procrastinate the past, (don't know if you hear me now but I hope you can start to understand) an we were thinking about death ( sometimes when I think of words I keep them close an keep them in my head) An i won't know where I'll sleep. (were both from broken homes but you're hill seems to be some what less steep) an i don't know now what I need (we did it to ourselves put our head to make us just seem more weak, so I will take the gun and prove I will do anything I need.
Track Name: Long Year (lol i'm sad again)
Its been a long year, a looong year for us and I've been through so much stuff, I'm surprised I survived. And It's been a bad year, a baaad year for you and youre cutting through and through you want to bleed while you breathe. and she said, "I miss my friends I miss my I miss my friends I miss my" (X2). And I'm sad again lol im sad again and when will this season end, freshman years not been too clear. It's been a shit year the cause of fall was pretty weird and when can I dissapear? I need to die or go outside. And he said "I miss my friends I miss my I miss my friends I miss my" (X2). And I never even thought about the way they smiled until they stopped smiling. I miss my friends I miss my friends.
Track Name: "The Skate Girl", Maya
You watch maya shoplift, you watch maya kickflip, you glance at her tattoos on the top of her right rib. You watch maya fall down, you watch maya bleed out, you watch crowds crowd around, and she screams without a sound.

And you know she waking and you know she's dying, living in the projects and you know she's trying. Brother is a junkie yeah she gets the groceries, and he's bound to get high, she can't know. (we dont wanna talk about it now)

Maya at the skate park, maya at the store. Maya at the record shop, maya wants more. She aint looking for a man man man man man, she'd just looking for a board. and she doesnt have a plan plan plan plan plan, she's just looking for some more, and she doesnt need your best wishes or from the people that she meets. and she doesn't need little kisses on her fucked up bloody knees.

And you met Max by his car, and he fucked you by the K- mart. Said did you really want it? No you kinda didn't. So I'll sleep on your couch, we'll drive back to your house, and if you cry in the middle of the I'll strike a match an It'll be alright.

And he knows he's dying, swear he knows he's quiet, and he fucks up so much not so great at lying. she dont pay attention she aint that type of a girl she would take the band aid rip it scream than fucking hurl

Maya at the skate park, maya at the store. Maya at the record shop, maya wants more. She aint looking for a man man man man man, she'd just looking for a board. and she doesnt have a plan plan plan plan plan, she's looks good in those shorts. and i took maya's hand soft and limp and dead, get off the road, you're a burnt out cigarette you've got nothing left, she said no.

and rolled up the window as she strolled into the car. And she sucked on her teeth as we drove off from the bar. and we screamed out the window as we drove into the dark.
Track Name: You're Not Even Here (Michael Carmichael Cover)
Cover- I was driving around when i saw two dogs dip out and become stray, and i was thinking about how all my friends are the same. and there are some that lost me and there are more that just forgot me, and all the things i once i thought had known are no more than just hollow notions. everything is feeling a little more weird since we lost you and you're not even here. the memories still stick to me like gum, and all i can see is you behind the sun.
Track Name: My Middle School Depression Is My Girlfriend
Middle school- the music. It soothes me. It swallows. The pain and. The past and the bruises. The weight still remains. An I'm sorry I never crawled out of your egoed brain. The music it's stupid the words that I say, I stepped off the plane and I cried for a day, but I promise for insight I still think of you when I nap.

I just miss telling you how my day went, (who the fuck now should I tell?) Since you an them been placent. (I'm in a place where i am) alone in a basement. (they never tell the children they never tell them nothing).

Because you wanted to die but since then you've been alright an you don't wanna die anymore. An she calls you on the phone she says she wants to go home, an you don't wanna die anymore, an you don't wanna die like before.

And she still whispers things in my ear I can't ignore, what do you do when your bored? She says have some sex she says do some drugs she says die the way you want to die tonight. But I wanna make ammends an i wanna make some friends, and I wanna live the way I wanna live my life. An i wanna die that way, you wanna die tonight. (X2)