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When I was 12 I lived a girl and her eyes were oh so weak, I had a picture of us in seventh grade and it would help me fall asleep. Now I love clouds beneath my feet and every time you breathe and every thought that has to do with what you could mean to me. And there's a 50 50 chance on this history test there's a 50 50 chance that I'm never coming back there's a 5050 chance that I wake up ashamed when I see all the things all made up and change. And now no where is sacred and no where is special all the friends that you have are too temperamental. They're just big stupid dicks that will discuss the past when they all reminisce of their letterman sweats. (God I'm so fucked) now I'm 15 and you leeche of me and every word I speak when I'm about to, open my mouth you're there interrupting me. And I hate my life hate my Job so I will go back to school get beat up till I will find. Find my time. Find my find my. Mary don't leave so suddenly when I miss you more than me watercolor days all smeared with hands. And weekends alone and waiting for death and fond memories now of my regrets and songs that won't hold I'm friends with the wind I'm sick of myself I'm building my shell. Be the father every father dreampt.

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from Why Did I Do Everything I've Ever Done, released May 14, 2016

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Amar Ahmad Boston, Massachusetts

22 / I do this to keep busy

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