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Suppressed Smiles

from Out by a Lake by Art Slob

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lyrics

I just want to write a song, about the way you close your mouth, when i say something that starts a smile, but you dont want to let it out.

To show me how much you might feel, so i resent the thing i said, it may be a cute thing you do, but it makes me lose my sense of perpose. With every passing hour and month and year of life, i struggle with if what im feeling is ok or not.

I just want to write a song, about the way feel alone, but i cant seem to talk too hot, or articulate the feelings out. I just want to write a verse dedicated to the hurt, the one that is indefinite, picture me and all my sins.

And i spend most of my days, trying to find new ways, to help me to stay sane.
And i spend most of my nights, trying to rationalize, how i still think of you.

I just want to hold your hand my friend, i just want to feel the cool wind bend, i just want your head upon my shoulder, want to think the things i think but bolder. i just want hear you while im sleepin, i just want to feel your heart a beatin, and i am only anxious cuz i like you and i only like you cuz youre not. And your confidence, is overwhelming. butt helps me feel more calm.

Its not simple like songs i wrote, but then again not much is, i thought i couldnt lose no more, suprise suprise i think i did.
Its strange that i still feel ashamed, of how i talk and what i say, when i know when i finally die, you wont even remember me.

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from Out by a Lake, released February 19, 2017

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Amar Ahmad Boston, Massachusetts

22 / I do this to keep busy

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