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On and Off the Grid Part I & II

from Life Like Boyfriend Hands by Amar Ahmad

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about

This year I moved and while I was moving I felt pretty weird. I ended up going to a different school but still having to take the bus back to my town because I hadn't moved yet. The bus rides were pretty long and I felt and feel pretty outta place in this town. Its also about me failing Spanish Class and not knowing how to "high school". I guess its like feeling self conscious everyday and not giving my self a chance to change and therefore never get better. And all the way's I have changed don't feel really great either.

It's called On and Off the Grid because I didn't really talk to anybody that month when I started it school so i felt like I was sometimes there but sometimes in my mind a lot.

lyrics

On an off the grid:

Can my high school Spanish class, teach me how to by cigarettes from my local CVS? Can the kids who stare at me say a word or two to please can I get any rest? All my skin still filled with blue, how i feel an felt bout you. Was that past what we need?(to grow grow grow) can I feel the bruises still? Yes but I don't really think it will. change the things that make me bleed. An i hope it's better where you are. I hope it's better where you've been i hope you found your lucky stars an i hope to God that your counting them.

A change that's not so very good. I start to move real fast backwards. Now please please drive me to the mall now I'm a dick from the suburbs
The month feels slower the it was, because it's closer to the end. The syllables of the days oh they stretch out, twenty five twenty six twenty seven.

When you see me, do you see? A place you can't call home, all curled up to feel alone. still fall still cold.. Take you back on a trip. You are not escaping this

Bloodshot eyes red, all over the place I can't talk can't sleep. An i know that I I know that I'm gonna be alone for the road.

And I was alone there I'm still alone now just in a different place. (My angstyness is gone I'm too sad to write songs I've been here way too long.to fall in love is all I want) Just in a different place

credits

from Life Like Boyfriend Hands, released December 13, 2015

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Amar Ahmad Boston, Massachusetts

22 / I do this to keep busy

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