1. |
For You
01:34
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Reality, is never good as fantasy. I don't want or need you, I just want possibility. And even if that's true, it has always been, and it always will be, all for you.
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2. |
Out by a Lake
03:14
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I'll get it tattooed on my right arm, all the things i think but never say. Like how i want to live with you in a town in a house out by a lake. Out by a lake. And i felt beautiful standing next to you, like god was in our intertwining hands. Ghosts of us live in places we've been and when im bored i hang with them. And how i break. how i break. I can tell you dont want me here but i have got no where to be. I can tell you wanna be alone, rather than be here with me. I saw you walk around by the car wash and in the cvs by the wallmart, i saw you walk a field with your good friends, and just sitting alone in your own house. The sun is setting out where you live. as run fast past your old house. the pain i feel is inevitable its just how i control it now. How i control it now. Now (Stil run still run, still bummed still bummed out over you).
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3. |
Adaptable
03:08
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Its the point in time where i conjure the line "are we here for a reason or wasting our livest". And youre turning your head and youre walking away, start talkimg about, the good olden days. And im listening to you, and im concious of me, and as you start to tell, all your favorite stories, i reach for the door, ive heard this one before, about all those kids, no one you miss more than he, I hope he comes back from new york to replace me. He seems way more fun an interesting. And cuz nothings happened in the years since, you talk and talk about the same damn kid You say it feels just so refreshing// so good to sit and remanise.
But im just not as adaptable. They're not your friends, didnt go to the right middle school didnt read all the right books they read, adaptable, not one of them. didnt go to the right middle school didnt listen to the right music now. IN the club with the lights on and off, your body move and lights flashing blue , and your loose and your shoes shaking too and im indiffrerent but still saddened. Make me lie flat down on the pavement, and rather be anything than i am. make me bite the curb then be patient, then step on my motherfucking head.
Dont you remember? back when you were our age when you wouldve given to find home in some one place, with friends that all love you and room with some warmth too oh my friend she said that i, she didnt think i could do it, where the fuck are you now dude? probably drunk on a park bench. where the fuck are you now dude? here i am pushing through it.
But im just not as adaptable. They're not your friends, didnt go to the right middle school didnt read all the right books they read, adaptable, not one of them. didnt go to the right middle school didnt listen to the right music now.
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4. |
Busy Bees
02:23
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Im so busy you're so busy, everyones acting like theyre busy, but i dont believe that you cant make time for the people that you actually wanna see. at the show! The ecstasy of our hearts still beatin, the things we want and the things we're screaming. Sometimes i feel so insane (Im trying to love you no more) Its hard, your bodies real tight ( we think of same things at night) Its ok though i was fine before (thinking of them alone)Im not sure how to let go. Fuck now i want you so bad. Oh I know that you still dont. Cons start to out way the pros. Dilemmas turning to air. solved such a long time ago. God ignore me. You're only 15 years old, and i am 16 years old, we've got much more to see. We dont need phones we dont need jobs, just far as our legs will take us. And what you want tommorrow could most probably happen tonight. SO take take pictures flash flash flash i wanna be with ya, but i dont believe we could capture the feeling, thats in our hearts and is always fleeting. and its always beating. I love my friends and all that they have done i know respect the love that i am given, not to be confused with all the shit that, i did for you but you dont even notice, you dont even notice, you dont even notice.
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5. |
Suppressed Smiles
02:44
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I just want to write a song, about the way you close your mouth, when i say something that starts a smile, but you dont want to let it out.
To show me how much you might feel, so i resent the thing i said, it may be a cute thing you do, but it makes me lose my sense of perpose. With every passing hour and month and year of life, i struggle with if what im feeling is ok or not.
I just want to write a song, about the way feel alone, but i cant seem to talk too hot, or articulate the feelings out. I just want to write a verse dedicated to the hurt, the one that is indefinite, picture me and all my sins.
And i spend most of my days, trying to find new ways, to help me to stay sane.
And i spend most of my nights, trying to rationalize, how i still think of you.
I just want to hold your hand my friend, i just want to feel the cool wind bend, i just want your head upon my shoulder, want to think the things i think but bolder. i just want hear you while im sleepin, i just want to feel your heart a beatin, and i am only anxious cuz i like you and i only like you cuz youre not. And your confidence, is overwhelming. butt helps me feel more calm.
Its not simple like songs i wrote, but then again not much is, i thought i couldnt lose no more, suprise suprise i think i did.
Its strange that i still feel ashamed, of how i talk and what i say, when i know when i finally die, you wont even remember me.
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6. |
Year Ago
04:17
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i wrote this song a year ago
It sounds like this but only slow
And though my pitch and voice have changed
The things i think theyre exact same
Then i would stay up day and night
To see how dead id feel alive
though i dont do that shit no more
Feels good to give into sometimes.
I wrote this song a year ago
It sounds like this but only gooood
And i thought we would have more time
I thought that you had understood (when)
I said i still care about you and you said you dont really have to. And i said i still care about you and you said i never asked you to dude. And Sometimes when the anger comes, it never really seemed to leave. But now i break some strings and shout. To start to feel myself at ease. And sure i'll overlook over the past, now i can pull you in again. But is it cuz youve come around or is that cuz i have forgotten? dont go back man shit it crushed you the first time. What makes you think that now youll be different in her eyes? But time will tell just as your body will slow down. Hey so ill hang out if theres just nothing to do now. I can picture me getting real and you pulling back again. I picture me coming up with a story to try and fake out all my friends. I said i still care about you and you said you dont really have to. And i said i still care about you and you said i never asked you to dude. But who could forget? Your short skirts your jumpers and bracelets. Red like your temper. Im glad of where i ended up, that all my friends are still alive. And i know that callings pretty tough but feel free to talk to me sometime.
"Sample voicemail"
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7. |
Dear Suzy, When?
01:40
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I like the way the sun comes in through your window and the way it paints your face in yellows and blues. I like the way im learning to love myself as well as you. I like the way that you are singing and the way your notes twist and bend above the choir. I can always seem to hear you and you can always seem to see me. And i dont know how i am feeling but when im with you im filled with hope, so ill write a quick love song or two, insert it between some suicide notes. I like the way that you are smiling and the way you laugh to hard, unlike the way im always crying i never really know what for. I like the way you keep touching my hand infrequently whenever we seem to agree. I hope that feeling remains when you come back but i guess we'll just have to see oh i guess we'll just have to see. Diners, movies, letters, phone calls, soft talk, day naps, all i think about is you.
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8. |
Stay Warm
02:33
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When I'm alone
I sit sigh by the phone
For someone I don't know
To call me sometime soon
She says "hi there hello
Whereve you been wherd you go?
I just miss seeing you"
and I miss you too dude
When im alone
And I start to feel cold
I build up walls of stone
To stay warm - just like clothes
and when I try to love
All those walls they stay up
So like shirts I'll peel off
Like first bricks start to fall
and if you left the town filled with the people that you love
, and you're in home just wandering around sad.
Remember that those people are still thinking of you
And that they're just a post card or a letter or a phone call away.
So then, when you are sad
And don't want to be touched
Maybe you've gone and have
Also built those walls up
So I'll sit far away
Soft talk until day
Till you'll take off your blouse
Until you seem ok
with my hands on your back
And the mistakes that you've made
With the beginnings and ends
Of the things you cant change
I'll be a diary that will hold till it won't
And the words you say
can come kiss my face
to stay warm
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9. |
The Library
03:16
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The libraries a universe the libraries a dystopian world. like at 2 am at frendlies. Where times slows down and you can pause all of your responsibilities.. where are the dvds? lets sit an watch all those movies mostly the ones made by spike lee. Pausin them just to swap stories pause them just to swap
And she said your dads a dick and your mom just wont leave you alone.
So lets live at the library a place for comfort for you and me. I know you got home work but lets talk and sleep with beds underneath the desks and both our hearts upon our sleeves. And oh honestly i finally found someone to talk to. Who asks me questions when i want to. And who dont over her to talk over me.
And she said your dads a dick and your mom just wont leave you alone.
Public restrooms not best for bathing but well make do.my beds feelin just a lumpy but atleast im here right next to you.
Running outta clothes for the evening but, Ill wear the ones i wore for you.
Running outta clothes for the evening but, Shit we gotta go..cuz theres only so many nights you can sleep at the library before someone KNOWS.
And she said your dads a dick and your mom just wont leave you alone.
So dont go home just find your place in the corner of the third floor and the things we an said. That we'll keep secret in the whispers in the bookshelves of the foriegn languages.
And she said your dads a dick and your mom just wont leave you alone.
If they ask us to quiet down im sure thatll would just fine..cuz youre reading a book outloud in whisper through the night. Thats says we dont have to be quite in love, to laugh some to know some to have fun sometimes..
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10. |
Picture It
02:35
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I can picture us on a couch with the lights turned out. Watching your favourite movie in your parents house. A couple more stories a shiver a shaking. Once not the one outside looking in.
I can picture us on a hill
The one she said we'd always go to
I can picture us actually doing the things we say that were going to
I dont wanna sound way too pretentious
But i think ive found something that no one else has
Its a comfortable kind of feeling in a corner of a room
Its how i can truly be myself when im with you
I used to cry in the laundry
When i walked her home and i walked her home today
But now my laundry is folded
And all of my clothes are put away
It funny how it all happens
The girl i like lives a block or two down the street
I walk a mile to your house
The sunsets slowly blinds me
I picture me writing better songs and walking you home for days end. I can see me pull the posters off my walls and start to know myself again. And i can see me call you when i get sad, and i can see me learn to stick around. I can see me mention death again, but just try and phych us out.
I can picture us taking the 77 to meet a friend that i have met but i know that you havent. He could take us the forest that i still call mine and we look at the house that i grew up in. Looking at the cars off the road, brushing off the snow from on your coat. A old town white fluffed heaven. as soon as i get out of bed.
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